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PJgigglzz
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Name: All Beef
Country: Djibouti
Birthday: 11/3/1981
Gender: Female


Interests: GIGGLING, EATING, SLEEPING AND THEN HAVING A GOOD GIGGLE ABOUT IT.
Expertise: GIGGLING
Occupation: Executive
Industry: Textiles


Message: message me


Member Since: 4/26/2003

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Saturday, February 11, 2006

Denmark isn't funny

A series of cartoons that weren't particularly funny were published in a Danish newspaper. The cartoons portrayed the Prophet Muhammad as a terrorist. As Muhammad is a central figure in Islam, these cartoons arguably allude that the entire Muslim community is made up violent, irrational terrorists. These cartoons have sparked claims from international leaders that a huge chasm has opened between the West and Islam.

First of all - NOBODY CARES about Denmark. When did Denmark become the figurehead of the Western world? Most people would agree that all references to "The West" and "Western" things, are references to America and Europe, but mostly America. Geographically speaking, America is way more "West" than Europe, plus we have that whole Western movie genre, antiquated and embarrassing as it may be. THUS any claims that some stupid inflammatory statement that comes out of Denmark is representative of the entire West are so far-fetched and ridiculous that I don't even have words so I'll use numbers: 1001001010101010.

The cartoons aren't even funny. "OooOOh all Muslims are crazy terrorists!!!" Wow, what cutting edge humor. Good job Denmark. If you want to see true racism at its finest, I recommend renting Team America. Now that's some good racism -- racism directed towards France, Korea, America, Kerblechistan, and the list goes on and on.

Having said all that - the heart of the matter is that some Muslims were outraged by this sterotypical portrayal of their Prophet and their people. So what do they do? What do they do?

January 30, 2006: The EU offices in Gaza are raided by gunmen demanding an apology.

February 4, 2006: The Danish and Norwegian embassies in Damascus are attacked.

February 5, 2006: The Danish embassy in Beirut is set ablaze.

February 6, 2006: Five lives are claimed in protests in Afghanistan, a teenage boy dies in protests in Somalia.

February 7, 2006: The Danish embassy in Tehran is attacked by several hundred Iranian protesters.

So, Muslim demonstrators - here's what you did: Outraged by the Danish cartoons, you wanted to prove to the Western World that the stereotype of Muslims as irrational and violent terror-mongers is wrong - so you physically attacked 4 embassies and killed 6 people. That's what you did.



*** Special thanks to the BBC news website <news.bbc.co.uk>, and the Jimmy Fallon Tells You What You Did segment courtesy of Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update***


Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Update: The ghetto-factor of our apartment increased by 73% with the arrival of this camping chair, which was immediately added to our living room decor.

Top 10 Thing You Will Never Hear Me Say:

10) "That is way too much meat."

9) "It's because I'm white, isn't it?"

8) "It's because I'm a girl, isn't it?"

7) "Wow, I'm early!"

6) "Wow, I'm on time!"

5) 'Wow, I'm less than 45 minutes late!"

4) "That anti-fungal cream is definitely not mine." ... wait ...

3) "Man, I really hate to waste time."

2) "Antidisestablishmentarianism."

1) "It's because I'm black, isn't it?"


Listen to:
Jackie Wilson - Say You Will (aka Lonely Teardrops)


Monday, February 23, 2004



I was going to write a long 'welcome back' entry to end my xanga hiatus, but it ended up being too time-consuming and involving too much 'thinking,' so I'll just put that off until another time (read: never). Instead I want to talk about a few silly things I've been noticing lately that make me laugh:

1) Unabashedly false advertising - statements found on the packaging of random products that are obviously completely untrue and portray the product in a deceptively positive light.

Jamie (my roomie, duh hooey) has a tin of biscuit-type things called "Hot Kid Honey Ball Cookies (a whole other joke in itself)" which claim to be "The most nutritious snack for children."

One would assume that the mere usage of the word "cookies" in the name of a product would crush any suspicion that the product might be healthy. A quick glance at the Nutrition Facts reveals that Hot Kid Honey Ball Cookies, in fact, have no nutritional value to speak of. Surprise!!!! It is highly likely that the makers of these cookies are aware of this fact, and they just don't give a shit.

This is funny to me.

No? Nothing? Crickets? Ok then, moving on.

2) Unabashedly truthful advertising - statements found on the packaging of random products that are completey true and portray the product in a negative light, which the manufacturers don't realize or don't seem to care about.

Imagine the thousands of box-drinks you've consumed in your lifetime, the kind that mom put in your lunch everyday, that smashed your peanut butter and jelly sandwich and exploded when you tried to insert the damned straw. The box always has a picture of some cartoon character orgasming over the supposedly amazing taste of the drink, which is usually orange juice or cranberry juice or some other kind of juice, and somewhere on the label in bright lettering it says "3% JUICE!!!"

So is this a good thing? Are they bragging because their juice contains 3% juice while other juice drinks contain only 2.5%, or better yet, no juice at all? I don't know about you, but if I were making something and calling it "juice" and the concoction itself was only 3% juice, I would definitely try not let people find out about that, let alone scream it into their face.

Isn't there some sort of rule that says you can't name something after an ingredient that doesn't make up the majority of its composition? I mean, peanut butter has 2% of your daily recommended iron, why don't they call it Iron Butter?




Listen to:
Al Green - Simply Beautiful


Tuesday, December 09, 2003

As the last remaining traces of my ability to form coherent thoughts melt into a festering puddle of goo, let me just say this:

Berkeley students are every bit as insane as popular belief claims them be. It is very sad that at 11 o'clock at night there is not a single free seat to be had in all of Moffit, Main Stacks or FSM. Sadder still is the fact that the exact same predicament presents itself again at 8 o'clock in the morning the very next day.

Saddest of all is the fact that I was there to witness both events.

And no, I didn't go home.


Song of the Day:
Sweet Honey in the Rock - Ella's Song


Thursday, December 04, 2003

You know what I love? People who are really bad at playing musical instruments but have never been told about it so they think it's OK to play for hours at a time at the loudest possible volume, who live upstairs from me.

Also, people who think it's OK to Riverdance while using their apartment as a bowling alley at 7 in the morning, who live upstairs from me.

Also, people who borrow laundry detergent, vacuums and entire pints of milk who haven't yet at least brought me cake or beer, who live across the hall.

So in summation, I love my neighbors. And by 'love' I mean don't really like at all.

Segue.

It would be funny if we all called animals by the sounds they make instead of their names. For example:

When I was 10, all I really wanted for Christmas was a woof. We had a meow, but it died after the '89 earthquake. Scared to death I guess. Sometimes I wish that I had one of those talking tweets. I would teach it to tell dirty jokes. In the morning when I eat my cereal I stare at the milk carton and think, "Moos in Berkeley?" Then I think about how I don't like my Mass Com 104 professor and I wish a roar would eat him. It's been raining a lot lately. When it rains I think of quacks wearing galloshes, and then I laugh and laugh. I want to let a pot-bellied oink loose in my building. It's so dirty no one would notice anyway. On my way home tonight I got stuck behind a big group of heehaws that were walking really slow and I felt like a baa. I hate that. I can never seem to wake up in the morning, even though I set two alarms. Maybe I should get a cockadoodledoo. Or maybe I should just go to sleep at a decent hour. I spend every night studying at Cafe Milano. There's a squeek who lives upstairs and I call him Fivel. Someone should probably complain because I'm sure that can't be very sanitary. Oh well.

See? It's so much better than the real animal names. Except I guess we couldn't ever talk about fish or zebras.


Song of the Day:
Etta James - Stormy Weather



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